Days 19 & 20 – Chicago, IL

I’ve talked a lot over the past 3 weeks about cancer survivors and those affected by cancer, usually family members and friends.  But what about the doctors who treat those with cancer?  I can’t even imagine what it’s like for them, but this past weekend, in Chicago, I got a little bit of insight on that topic from 1 of my best friends, Baddr.

Baddr and I have known each other for a little under 6 years.  We 1st met at the fire department when I joined in May of 2005.  Since then a lot has changed, including Baddr’s graduation from UVA, graduation from medical school at EVMS, and the start of his residency in surgery at the University of Chicago.  Over that same time he has become one of my closest friends.  It’s 1 of those friendships that may just be a 1 line text message every few days but when we see each other it’s like we hung out yesterday.

While at dinner on Saturday night, Baddr told me about how things were going with his residency and the surgeries that he was involved with on a regular basis.  A HUGE number of these surgeries are cancer related and he was able to share first hand info about how cancer affects those he works with every day.  I could never be the guy that tells a person they are terminal and have between X and Y days/weeks/months to live, but that’s exactly what Baddr has to do.  He sees 1st hand the importance of a positive attitude, supportive family, and healthy lifestyle.  He emphasized all of that during our time together.

As a patient you need to focus on getting better.  Don’t obsess (too much) over your treatment of lab results or stuff like that, that’s what the doctors are for, and they are ALWAYS looking out for what’s best for you – none of them like it when patients lose their battles either, so they are doing everything they can possibly do to help you.  As a family member you need to let the patient know that you are OK and that their treatment is about them and about them getting better.  It’s not about you or how unfair cancer is or how you’re going to cope, etc…  All patients are worried about the effect their illness has on their family and loved ones.  Sometimes too much so and it takes away from them worrying about themselves and their own health.  So, as a family member or friend, be supportive.  Be strong.  Be there.  Let the patient know it’s OK, that you’re OK, and that THEY are the focus.

As I mentioned in a post the other night, junk in, junk out… take care of yourself.  Get exercise.  Do what you can to live a healthy lifestyle.  We live in a world that makes that hard, but do your best.  Every lit bit DOES matter.  Each positive thought DOES matter.  Make a positive connection, talk to someone, share your story, listen to theirs.  It DOES matter.  Baddr, thank you for all that you and every other doctor out there does to help the rest of us.  I can’t imagine that it’s like to see the effects of cancer day in and day out and respect you so much for it.

UPDATE: 9/29/10 – After I posted this, I was very gently reminded that I forgot to thank all of the nurses and other health care providers who take care of cancer patients on a daily basis as well.  For that I am VERY sorry.  You all see it just as much, if not more, than the doctors.  You the ones there pushing the chemo drugs and trying to make your patients feel better when they are feel horrendous and the ones who see the family members day in, day out while they sit bedside with their loved ones.  Thank you for what you do and I apologize for not mentioning you sooner!